Updated insider information by Chellie Campbell, author of “The Wealthy Spirit: Daily Affirmations for Financial Stress Reduction”
“You can preach a better sermon with your life than with your lips.”—Oliver Goldsmith
It’s been said that whenever you point your finger at someone else, you have three fingers pointing back at you; that you can’t even recognize a fault in someone else unless you also have it in you. Just for today, try not to point a finger at anyone else’s character defect. We all have failings; what we’re supposed to be working on is our own.
Yes, you may notice those sharks in the water and have wonderful suggestions of how they might change to become a dolphin. But if they’re a shark, they aren’t going to listen to you. They might turn around and point out some shark-like behavior of yours. And that tuna crying on your shoulder—when was the last time you shared a victim story of your own?
Today, when you notice someone’s lack, limitation or fault, instead of pointing it out to them, or calling a friend to complain about them, look at your own life and see where you manifest the same quality. Then make your helpful suggestions to yourself, not to them.
Ah. Self-improvement. The only improvement plan with a chance of success.
Today’s Affirmation: “I am better and better and richer and richer every day!”
One night, I when I got home from playing some poker and losing some money, I wasn’t very happy. I went over my losing plays and saw where I could improve my game, and tried not to beat myself up for playing poorly, vowing to improve.
I checked my email, and to my horrible surprise, found a note from a woman reading “The Wealthy Spirit” who was depressed and talking about suicide, saying she had done everything she could to improve her life and nothing was working. “Well I have done all I can to make my life work…I wish the things I practiced from your book and emails had worked. They don’t…”
Yikes! I am not a suicide counselor, nor a psychologist trained to handle people with depression that deep. I also didn’t know whether or not this was some new email scam that would result in a plea for money…I have to admit I was a bit resentful at having a stranger throw her desperation on me, like a high school athlete throwing a slushie on a “Glee” cast member. What? It’s my fault that she’s in the spot she’s in because the advice in my book didn’t work for her? I have to drop everything in my life now and try to help her save hers?
I wasn’t in a good mood to begin with and her letter made me grumpy. I was aware that the letter I started composing from that reaction wasn’t going to be appropriate. I didn’t want to answer her from that place. I’ve found that the best thing for me to do when presented with a dilemma like this is to sleep on it, because I always seem to have more clarity in the morning…
When I woke up this morning, I sent her my answer:
No, clearly you haven’t done all you can to make your life work. You need to see a psychologist who is trained to deal with depression. You may have a clinical problem that no self-help can address. Have you done this?
I am sorry you are in pain about your situation, but if you look closely, you will probably be able to see how you got yourself there. And you if you got yourself in it, you can get yourself out.
Never make a permanent decision while in a temporary state of mind! Besides, taking your life doesn’t work anyway. I believe in reincarnation, so whatever problems you don’t solve this life, you just have to come back, set it up all over again, and solve it then. You don’t want to do that, do you?
If you have a terrible relationship, get yourself to a battered women’s shelter like Haven House. Call a suicide hotline. Go to a 12-step program and talk with one of the leaders. You’re depressed, and we all get like that sometimes. If you’re reading “The Wealthy Spirit” or my blog, you know I’ve had some bad stuff go down in my life, too. I love what Mary Pickford said, “If you have made mistakes – even serious ones – there is always another chance for you. For what we call failure is not the falling down, but the staying down.”
Eat some chocolate, take a walk on the beach, go volunteer at a soup kitchen like the Los Angeles Mission, or a children’s hospital, or a hospice and help someone who’s even worse off than you. That will give you some perspective.
Good luck! The next time I hear from you I want a report of all the ships you sent out to heal your life. You can do it!! And you’re going to feel so good about it!
It’s a little “tough love” mixed in with a little compassion. I hope that it helps. But I’m not in charge of whether it does or not. I am only in charge of dispensing the advice I have, and since she contacted me, I can only assume that’s the advice she needed.
I have endless advice, support, and compassion for people working to improve their lives. I don’t have much for people who give up on their lives. So if you want to be a Tuna victim and whine and complain about your lot in life, I don’t have anything for you. But if you’re willing to do the work to change it, I’ve got lots. Cogratulations to all of you who are reading, studying, practicing, and working on your lives. I’m on your team!